Trust changes everything…

When I was 17, I found myself in a place where I was being deeply impacted by other people’s choices.  Specifically, my parents.
They had decided to move out of state.  I had no control over it, and I didn’t like it.

I was old enough to have a very independent life, but not at all in a place to be financially independent.  And that’s a pretty important part of independence!

So, in the middle of anger, deep sadness and frustration, I schemed and planned out every possible way that I could stay behind.  But, in the end, every solution I came up with was shot down.  I had to move.

One night before we left, my best friend and I sat on her front porch.  After hours of laughing, talking, consuming way too much coffee, and trying to write songs together, we ended up sitting quietly as I played my guitar.  New waves of sadness hit as I thought about how our friendship would change once I left.  In my mind I began to tell God how unfair it all was.  And in the quietness God spoke to me in a song.  The words and melody poured through my mind as though I had heard it a hundred times.
It went like this:

In the palm of My hand
I am holding you, so safely
Secure in My embrace
You’re being changed
To be more like Me
Isn’t this the very thing
That your heart has longed for?
Just be still and know My love
Know My love for you
Just be still and know My love
Know My love for you

Such a beautiful peace settled on that porch as I started to sing it out and my friend began to sing along with me.

That song became an anchor for me.  To this day I have not experienced that type of thing again.  It truly was a precious gift.

And, although it was beautiful, it did not change my circumstances. It didn’t take the pain out of leaving my home and community.  I still wept, but as I did I leaned into Him.  Instead of saying, “This isn’t fair!  I need to figure out how to change this!”  My heart now cried out, “This hurts!  And I don’t understand.  But I know You love me, and I trust You to take care of me.”  That’s a huge difference.

Those words God sang to my heart didn’t change my circumstances at all, but they completely changed my heart.  They allowed me to go through a painful situation in a way that drew my heart closer to God.

That song has been present continually in the soundtrack of my life. Because God’s truth doesn’t just apply to that 17 year old girl being forced to leave a place she loved.  God has used those same words to touch my heart and draw me to Himself through infertility and miscarriages, layoffs and financial struggles, the betrayal of friends, the pain of my parents’ divorce…  The list could go on and on.

The beautiful thing is that God doesn’t change in the midst of all of that.  He’s holding us safely.  We’re being changed to be more like Him.  We can rest in His love.  We can trust Him.

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2 thoughts on “Trust changes everything…

  1. What a wonderful song of His love and His peace–the peace that passes all understanding when we keep our eyes on Him. Thanks!

    Like

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